” Seeking Some meaning “

Two months summer vacations and we were on. my village was the most beautiful thing for me , it still is but yet degenerated a little bit.Collecting mangoes during nights, storms , rains. Making swirls while its all cloudy above our heads. Looking for babu ji so passionately as if our world use to start and end with him. It generally was. Catching birds, watching birds, playing cricket with village boys. Fishing in summer afternoons when Baba ji used to sleep.

SOmetimes fun for us was spoiling and destroying our neighbors garden and some times it was to swim with cows and buffaloes in the pond. Mangoes were our fvrt past times. And with night falling upon us , seeking a destination in stars with Amma gi’s short stories, most of which were less beautiful then being told. we use to make heard around her and use to fight over who gonna sleep rgt next to her .

Sapt- rishis and many more constellations,  were as clear as crystal to us, they were more like diamond in the skies and  we were like some fascinated wanderers so eager to count and pocket them all. while we lay on roof, night sky was all over us, as if we were some non visible things hanging  and observing  twinkling stars. Those frightening voices of Jhingur, and frogs and fire flies jumping around us. SO meaning less was every thing but yet so beautiful. There was no deeper contemplation of there utility but yet they were more profound in satisfaction than every other material things. SOme times I use to ponder why so much of meaning less things were so beautiful and so much of meaning ful things are useless. Is it the right way we move with the maturity in life or we get immature with life , always seeking some thing useful in everything,  some options so as to generate some comparisons. Does that matters at all??

Why we use to forget that the night wont be the same again ? why we use to generalize that every other experience wud be a different one as if we try to make some thing different out of every upcoming thing??Sometimes this thing strikes to me that how wud have been my life if i had tried to make sense out of those beautiful memories?? Why do we wish to connect every dot ?? why do we wish to create a ladder which takes us to our aim?? or is there really an aim or its merely a confounding and confusing idea so as to keep ourselves busy in doing something meaning ful. what we achieved ou aim??, will it create a difference ??? though materially it might be but at a certain level of conscious will it ever be going to fucking create a marvel out of me??I dont think so?? Why do we wish to create theories ?? If i had not laid under the beautiful summer sky in my village do u think it wud have been a different sky??? Then why it always looked different to me ??? I believe the answers lies in the answers and not in the questions as questions are some thing searching meaning ful and there is nothing meaning ful that persists we must take it as it is . Just live enjoy without thinking that will it make a difference, The fish caught up in my net never made a difference but it did brought a smile , a sense of joy to me some thing immeasurable in terms of utilities. I believe sometimes being absurdly existentialist and individualist is the best thing we can do for our selves.

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