A River of Memories

Last time we talked, it was march at its top. Previous night, a whole bucket of water ran down and broke the troughs of normalcy at my wall. With my legs folded, entrapped , encircled under my hands and my eyes fixed on the screen of my laptop, my heart yearned for a walk into the past.Broken chains, dismantled traumatic events, signs of no relief , I looked back in a deep sigh of despairing longingness.Some songs doing rounds and silence so provocative….Some nostalgic moments hanging on walls of my heart.Hanging and hinged.The nails run deeper into the valves.And with profound despair i longed for you.longed for the hugs and the kisses. Longed the cuddles and early morning misses.Longed for the voice of u on the phone, for some of ur caller tones.Longed for the kajrari eyes and the glares.Longed for the winds rolling down ur hairs.Longed for the Scent of ur body , sticky sweat.Sounds while you pee..Your thought lingers longer than it seems.Like a snake our memories roll over me and in midst of ur hisses I often plunged into a river–of memories. A river of dark ruminations–of chain of events–long forgotten.So to say that i miss u took me longer than i presumed , notwithstanding this, I feel u are  distant then i cud ever assume.Ur voice sound familiar but the behaviour so strange.Some say judging is crime, but that’s what all judges do.

I felt, you were standing on the opposite side of the river. Your voice filled me with a hope– ruined off soon.As i digged deeper into my being.I  Felt–Wounds are here to stay–it doesn’t matters whether we forgive or forget.I wanted to cross that river and run into you and tell you all the truths I have been through.But the stranger in you sound bold….My burnt soul whispered, Hold on–for you can’t see–now this person exists on the parallel side of the river…You questioned–i was in fear.It was u–My  worst nightmare.On the opposite side of the river, standing in ur tall boots, u hardly know..What i  have been through.We shared this river of memories.We shared those cuddles.We shared those hugs.We shared those kisses.We shared some bites.We shared casual fights.We shared some laughter while ur eyeballs shined.We shared some common space and lived in each others place.We shared some moments of mutual love.We swam in river holding each other’s hand.We were there when the sun sat on the other side.You found refugee in my lap, when nights were cold and the moon was dark.We shoot the stars during starry nights and made tunnels through constellations .

People change , I often see.They become stranger, that perplexes me.You said u lived under my skin..And ruined me of the the very soul so akin..I hope some day, while passing through riverside…u might see the mighty tides of belongingness..It all turns cold and dark..like the Red sea.And may u  feel..How notwithstanding time, love bleeds…….

#Shiven

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