I know This Feeling!

she was standing, on the opposite platform. There was a distance of few meters between us. I could see her. The metro entered from the other side. It took over the distance between us.I could see her waving a bye, before metro engulfed her. And I was fucked. My heart crumbled. She was inside the metro. I cud see her no more. And in a moment she disappeared like the morning fog! I knew this feeling of desolation.It was not strange to me!

It was not for the first time I felt it. A sense of parting is quite present in my subconscious mind. I know, how much it pains when a thread breaks! SHe is here to stay. And yet i felt it! Perhaps this is what we call love! I am not amazed but numb. Love makes me numb. My heart pounced and I was full of deep anxiety. I wanted to deboard metro at some next metro station. I was almost in tears! And I was thinking, but she is here to stay!

In the hindsight, I cud feel the separation. I am aware of longings and love. Memories haunted me for years. She made me forget every mental torture. May be it’s her sight I don”t wanna lose. As she sits next to me, all my senses roam like a drunkard! All that I cud sense is she. All that I feel is she. All that I wish I cud ever have is she. I am not possessive. I am passionate for her, like a spectator is for the game. The only difference is that, I am there for her in her lows as well. Perhaps I have engendered her into my mind like a nerve cell. And I cud not sense beyond her! Perhaps, I could not dream her disappearance ! I know this feeling!

Emotions are so integral to human. Perhaps makes us human.Amazing that sometimes , how short do we fell of words and couldn’t express in exact terms , what we feel! Love and belongingness was cited as a need by Maslow. That there are some emotions and they almost make us feel so connected ,  truly amazing! Notwithstanding the past or future, love assures us of its magnificence . Love is a medium within medium. All I knw, if thr is some thing which lies within my chest, where all my anxiety rest, is the true source of love, for it is in her presence that I could find some solace at that place. And when I saw her disappearing behind metal wheels, I felt anxiety at the same place where I could felt solace in her presence. I know this feeling and it was never strange to me , yet She took with her, all my solace!

 

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